Fighting Fair

Take 15 seconds and think about that last fight/argument/heated conversation you had with your spouse. Now take another few seconds, and make yourself a list (at least in your head) of five things you could have done to make it worse. Aha! So…you COULD have made it worse…but you didn’t. That means you have at least some inclination to fight fair. That’s a good thing.

In my last blog, about tips for communication, I mentioned that the purpose of a fight/argument/heated discussion is to solve problems…not win the fight. Fighting with a spouse is not necessarily bad or wrong; it can be healthy for a couple … after all, it is communication. But there’s a catch – they have to do it well. Fighting to win is not doing it well.

Many couples begin a discussion with the greatest intentions. Their original goal is to solve a problem unless one…

Members Only

To continue reading this content, you must register or login.

About the Author

Deacon Dan Powers

Deacon Dan Powers is assigned to Holy Spirit Parish in Las Vegas, Nevada. He is a retired Army Sergeant Major, as well as a retired clinical family therapist, and former Clinical Member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. He is married to Ninga, a retired Social Worker. They survived raising two teenagers who are now adults, and have three grandchildren.