Parenting Practicals

How Do I Make Friends When I Don’t Know Who I Am?

The most common question my middle school youth group members ask is “how do I make good friends?” and “how do I know who is a good friend?” Wow! You could write volumes on either subject, but it seems that at the base of any friendship (especially for middle schoolers) is the question “who am I?”

Middle school is when the search for “who I am” accelerates. As elementary friends become your “BFF” and before the cliques solidify in High School, your middle schooler will go through an array of friends who may seem to have little in common, and for reasons you cannot figure out. To start, the friends your elementary schooler makes are a result of same classes; same sports team; same neighborhood. As you move into middle school, the mix of people from different backgrounds, grades, and neighborhoods multiplies and forces the question – who am I?


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About the Author

Bill Kraus

Bill Kraus is an Officer in the Reserves, an attorney in his civilian career, and a volunteer Youth Minister (and active adult) at Our Lady of Perpetual Help Church in Edgewater, MD. Together with his middle and high school students, they are actively looking for Christ in the world and each other. Bill's personal guide is his son, Dan.